I am done with evangelicalism

I am done with evangelicalism. I am done with charismatic evangelicals in particular but I am done with the lot of them and with their strand of Christianity. The death knoll resounded this morning after reading this article from the Friendly Atheist website about the 177 evangelical pastors ‘slamming’ Christianity Today for its editorial supporting Trump’s impeachment. Some of these leaders are people I used to look up to so it felt like a bit of a watershed moment.

I think I’ve been done for a while so this is merely a confirmation that I can’t be associated with a group of people who would use the Bible to make excuses for the narcissistic black hole of moral morass that is the current American President. You can add the twisting of Scripture to the point of meaninglessness and whatever the hell these shady political shenanigans are to the mix of reasons why I won’t be going to church again. Ultimately for me it comes down to this: distancing myself by saying ‘not my brand of Christianity’ whilst continuing to attend an evangelical church became less and less justifiable, and then simply not enough.

You might wonder why what’s going on in another country should matter to me in the UK. Christian culture is different here, opinions and beliefs are not so deeply entrenched and polarised, or indeed political – although Brexit has definitely changed things for me as an EU citizen, and it has tainted my opinion of conservative voters, when 10 years ago it would have mattered not at all. The fact is that there is a lot of cross over between American and British Christianity. UK churches borrow heavily from both the US and Australian Christian scene in terms of music and reading material. I started my charismatic journey in the 90’s reading Mike Bickle; in the charismatic and independent evangelical churches I’ve been a part of, there’s always been a lot of music borrowed from the likes of Hillsong and the Bethel Church in Redding California; I’ve owned books from Bethel leaders and heard John Piper quoted from the pulpit. So I can’t just ignore what’s going on and dismiss it as inconsequential to me personally.

I’ve known the Redding guys were a bit out there but there was a time when I felt part of that tribe from a distance. There was a time when I appreciated their passion, and some of their writings were helpful to me. And mostly I really liked their music. I was open to the possibility of miracles whilst still being plenty uncomfortable with the more outlandish miracle claims but I sort of accepted their possibility in a vague way. Redding was far away, and what did I know? I never actively sought these experiences but whilst obviously there are plenty of deluded people around I was also quite happy for genuine miracles to be happening somewhere else and not fussed about not witnessing them. I wanted to assume the best of people and tried to be as open-minded as possible. So I felt genuine shock and disappointment when Bill Johnson spoke of his support of Trump from the pulpit when he was first elected. I had liked the guy’s teachings and now I wondered how I could trust someone who appeared to be so deluded and so confident about a President who is as far from Jesus as you could get. And now it’s been nearly 4 years and they still support him and add to that the horrible publicity around their failed resurrection attempt in the last week, and I am done. I am done and I am disgusted.

I feel like I’ve been had. I was keen, naive, and oblivious to the implications of the theologies I was taught outside of my little bubble in the typical way of youth. Now I’m a little older, a little wiser, a little more nuanced and a lot more cynical, and sometimes you can’t just keep making excuses for people in the way that these evangelical leaders are making excuses for Trump’s many offences whilst claiming to be hearing from God. The lasting impact, I guess, is that I have lost all trust in Christian leaders especially those who claim to be hearing the Holy Spirit, and you won’t see me set foot in a church for a very long while, if ever again.